Pillar 2: Bridge the Gap

Understanding The Men

The second pillar in the beloved alliance system is “Bridging the Gap.” This pillar emphasizes the significance of understanding the men in our life, particularly our intimate partner.

In this article, we’ll delve into what these needs are, explore the beauty of doing for your partner without expecting something in return, learn how to identify and eradicate potential blocks! But first, let me tell you why this is so important:

  1. Fostering Trust and Connection: Understanding and meeting your partner’s needs builds trust and emotional intimacy in the relationship. When your partner feels valued and cared for, they are more likely to reciprocate and consider your needs and desires as well.
  2. Communication and Understanding: By understanding your partner’s needs and meeting them without any hidden agenda, you create an environment of open communication. This allows you to express your wants and desires more effectively and encourages your partner to listen and respond in a supportive manner.
  3. Building Emotional Bank Account: Doing kind and thoughtful things for your partner builds up an “emotional bank account” in the relationship. When you need something or have a request, your partner may be more willing to oblige due to the accumulated goodwill from your selfless actions.
  4. Strengthening Commitment: Selflessness and care demonstrate your commitment to the relationship. It shows that you are willing to invest in the well-being of your partner and the relationship, which can lead to increased commitment from both sides.
  5. Enhancing Emotional Well-being: Acts of kindness contribute to a positive and happy atmosphere in the relationship. When both partners feel emotionally supported, they are more inclined to consider and support each other’s needs.
  6. Demonstrating Love and Affection: Doing things for your partner without expecting anything in return is a way to express love and affection. This reinforces the emotional connection and encourages your partner to respond with love and affection in return.

However, it is crucial to remember that doing things for your partner should come from a place of genuine care and love, not as a manipulative tactic to get what you want.

The key is to focus on building a healthy, loving, and supportive relationship, where both partners contribute to each other’s happiness and well-being willingly. Healthy relationships are based on mutual respect, communication, and understanding, and taking care of each other’s needs should be a natural part of that dynamic.

Understanding Needs According to Tony Robbins Psychology:

Tony Robbins identifies six core human needs based on his psychology. These needs are fundamental driving forces that influence human behavior and motivation. They are:

  1. Certainty: The need for stability, security, and predictability in life.
  2. Variety: The need for excitement, change, and new experiences.
  3. Significance: The need to feel special, unique, and important.
  4. Connection: The need for love, belonging, and meaningful relationships.
  5. Growth: The need for continuous personal and emotional development.
  6. Contribution: The need to give back, contribute to others, and make a positive impact on the world.

Understanding and fulfilling these needs can lead to a more fulfilled and purposeful life. To bridge the gap effectively, partners must comprehend and address these emotional needs in themselves and each other.

It is essential to identify which are the top two for both you and your partner so you can compare your values and how you both reach them.

Doing for Your Partner Without Reciprocation:

One of the key aspects of bridging the gap is the ability to give without expecting something in return. Selfless acts of kindness and love create an atmosphere of trust and unconditional support.

This step of pillar 2 holds profound value in nurturing a loving and fulfilling relationship. Small gestures like preparing their favorite breakfast in bed, leaving cute love notes around the house, or organizing a surprise date night can bring laughter and joy to you and your partner.

Picture this: surprising your partner with a quirky dance routine or singing a hilariously cheesy love song just to make them smile.

These light-hearted, selfless acts create a stronger emotional bond and ignite the flame of romance. The more you invest in each other’s happiness without any hidden agendas, the deeper your connection becomes, creating beautiful memories to cherish together.

By meeting your partner’s needs without seeking reciprocation, you build a strong foundation for a harmonious relationship.

Determining What His Blocks Are:

Blocks are the barriers that hinder partners from giving the other what they are asking for. Identifying these blocks is crucial to bridging the gap.

It could be past traumas, insecurities, or unresolved conflicts. In some circumstances, it is the need for more time, too much pulling at their attention or other needs not being met.

This step is crucial for several reasons:

  1. Effective Communication: Understanding the barriers or blocks your partner is facing allows you to have more effective and meaningful communication. It helps you approach the situation with empathy and find the right words to address their concerns or fears.
  2. Resolving Misunderstandings: Often, misunderstandings or misinterpretations can prevent your partner from fulfilling your request. Identifying these misunderstandings can clear up confusion and ensure both of you are on the same page.
  3. Building Trust: By taking the time to listen and understand your partner’s perspective, you demonstrate respect and care for their feelings. This builds trust in the relationship, as your partner sees that you genuinely value their thoughts and emotions.
  4. Overcoming Obstacles Together: Identifying blocks allows you and your partner to work together as a team to find solutions. Addressing these obstacles jointly fosters a sense of partnership and solidarity.
  5. Strengthening Intimacy: Openly discussing what is blocking your partner from fulfilling your request can lead to deeper emotional intimacy. Vulnerability and honesty in these conversations create a stronger bond between you and your partner.
  6. Preventing Resentment: When requests are not fulfilled without apparent reasons, it can lead to frustration and resentment. Identifying blocks early on helps prevent these negative emotions from building up and harming the relationship.
  7. Promoting Growth and Understanding: By understanding what blocks your partner, you gain insights into their personality, past experiences, and values. This knowledge promotes growth and a deeper understanding of each other.
  8. Encouraging Empathy: Identifying and discussing blocks fosters empathy between partners. It allows you to see the situation from their perspective, which can lead to greater compassion and support.

Understanding your partner’s blocks requires open communication and empathy, fostering an environment where they feel safe to share their vulnerabilities.

Remember, when discussing blocks, it is essential to approach the conversation with sensitivity and a non-judgmental attitude. Encourage your partner to share openly and assure them that you are there to support them in overcoming any obstacles together. Open communication is the key to a healthy and thriving intimate relationship.

How to Eradicate the Blocks:

Eradicating these blocks is a team effort and can lead to the deepening of emotional intimacy, fostering mutual growth, and creating a sense of security. Removing blocks leads to smoother communication, better understanding, and a healthier partnership.

To eradicate the barriers hindering your partner from fulfilling your desires, adopt a proactive and understanding approach.

  • For time constraints, communicate openly about priorities and schedule adjustments to create space for each other’s needs.
  • Address financial concerns with empathy, finding compromise and budgeting solutions together.
  • To tackle emotional barriers, nurture trust through compassionate dialogue and active listening, allowing your partner to express fears or insecurities.

Engaging in therapy, practicing active listening, and seeking personal development together can effectively eradicate many obstacles.

Most importantly, encourage self-awareness and personal growth to overcome any obstacle. By working together with patience and support, you can dismantle these hindrances, fostering a harmonious relationship where both partners feel empowered to fulfill each other’s wants and needs.


Bridging the Gap through understanding your partner’s needs is an art that requires compassion, empathy, and patience. It is a journey of growth where the efforts invested reap abundant rewards. In the comments below, we encourage you to share your unique insights, experiences, or even a favorite joke about relationships. After all, laughter is the most enjoyable bridge in any connection!

Comment below and let us know your funniest relationship joke or your most heartwarming experience of bridging the gap with your partner!

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