How to submit to your husband

Setting the Stage for a Harmonious Marriage

Welcome to an exploration of one of the most misunderstood yet impactful aspects of marital relationships: submission. In today’s article, we’ll journey through the complex terrain of what it means to submit to your partner (including how to submit to your husband), and why this age-old practice might still have a meaningful place in modern unions.

  • Discussing the Benefits of Submission: We’ll delve into how submission can lead to a more harmonious and fulfilling marital relationship.
  • Defining Submission: Get ready to dismantle your preconceptions, as we offer a fresh, nuanced definition that aligns with the values of mutual respect and emotional support.
  • Myths and Misconceptions: Before we conclude, we’ll address the elephants in the room—those pervasive myths that often paint submission in a negative light.
  • Practical Tips: Finally, we’ll equip you with actionable steps that can transform theory into practice, setting you on the path to marital bliss.

Whether you’re new to the concept or you’ve been practicing submission in your marriage, this article aims to offer fresh perspectives and practical advice that can help improve your partnership.

The Spice Your Relationship is Missing

Ah, submission in relationships, the topic that makes modern couples squirm like they’ve just heard their parents talking about their “special alone time.” Let’s get one thing straight: submission isn’t about morphing into a 1950s housewife, unless retro aprons and victory rolls are your jam. It’s actually a secret sauce that can make a good marriage great.

Firstly, let’s sprinkle in a dash of the Bible for good measure. Ephesians 5:21 advises couples to “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” Yep, you heard it right: mutual submission! It’s not just wifey bending over backward while hubby acts like a mini dictator.

Submitting can be like the perfect duet—each partner taking turns to lead and follow. Picture it: Husband forgets anniversary. Wife doesn’t blow up but plans a surprise getaway. Or, wife forgets to pay bills, husband doesn’t transform into a fire-breathing dragon but calmly tackles the issue together. See? Two-way street!

Benefits, you ask? Oh, they’re juicier than a gossip magazine. Submission can make conflicts less about winning and more about understanding. It can lead to fewer squabbles and more cuddles. It turns your marriage from a never-ending episode of “Family Feud” into a harmonious rom-com, where everyone ends up happy—or at least not sleeping on the couch.

If that isn’t enough check out these benefits: 

  • Emotional Harmony: Feel like you’re dancing instead of dueling, as both partners take turns leading and following in a balanced relationship.
  • Reduced Conflict: Skip the courtroom drama—submission can make disagreements less about proving who’s right and more about understanding each other’s points.
  • Enhanced Intimacy: Experience a deeper emotional connection that feels like finding an extra layer in your favorite chocolate cake—rich and unexpected.
  • Mutual Respect: Discover the joy in giving and receiving respect, a loop that continuously feeds positivity into the relationship.
  • Biblical Alignment: Feel closer to divine marital bliss with a nod to Ephesians 5:21, encouraging submission as a two-way street “out of reverence for Christ.”
  • Trust Building: Foster a safe space where you can let your guard down, feeling secure that your partner will handle your vulnerability with care.
  • Teamwork Makes the Dream Work: Operate like a well-oiled machine, whether it’s deciding on family matters or negotiating Netflix picks without war breaking out.
  • Quality Time: Less arguing means more time for fun, transforming your marriage from a constant debate club into a never-ending honeymoon.
  • Long-Term Happiness: Pave the way for years of contentment, as submission helps you focus on the bigger picture over momentary squabbles.
  • Enhanced Communication: The practice of submission naturally boosts your communication skills, turning monologues into dialogues and complaints into constructive discussions.

Under the Microscope: Addressing the Myths

Hold onto your seats, because we’re about to debunk some of the most pervasive myths surrounding the practice of submission in marriage. If you think submission means throwing equality out the window or becoming a muted version of yourself, think again! Let’s clear the air and set the record straight.

  • Myth: Submission Equals Inequality: Spoiler alert—submission doesn’t mean you’ve signed up for second-class citizenship in your own home. It’s about mutual respect and shared responsibilities.
  • Myth: Only Women Should Submit: Move over, patriarchy! Many faiths and philosophies promote the idea of mutual submission. It’s not a one-gender show.
  • Myth: Submission Means Silence: No, you won’t turn into a mute button. Submission encourages a dialogue, not a monologue, where both partners are heard.
  • Myth: It’s Old-Fashioned: Submission has evolved, people! It’s not about being a ’50s housewife; it’s about finding a balanced power dynamic that works for both partners today.
  • Myth: It Leads to Abuse: Submission should never be a cover for emotional or physical abuse. It’s about fostering love and understanding, not fostering harmful behavior.
  • Myth: It’s All or Nothing: You can be a strong, independent person and still practice submission in aspects of your marital life. It’s not an all-or-nothing deal.
  • Myth: Submission is Passive: Far from being a passive act, submission is an active choice to prioritize harmony over ego, which takes courage and insight.
  • Myth: It’s Unempowering: Actually, submission can be empowering when done out of love and choice. It’s an act that takes strength and self-awareness.
  • Myth: It’s Not for Modern Couples: Even in our age of digital love and prenups, the ancient practice of submission can still bring modern benefits like emotional connection and long-term happiness.

And there you have it, folks—the age-old myths about submission in marriage, officially debunked! Remember, submission isn’t a dirty word or a one-size-fits-all formula. It’s a nuanced, dynamic practice that can enhance a marriage when done right. So before you write it off as outdated or unfair, consider that the truth might be far more empowering and balanced than the myths suggest.

Submission Simplified: Tips for Everyday Practice

Ready to put theory into practice? Strap in, because we’re about to arm you with practical tips for incorporating submission into your marriage, while keeping it healthy and balanced.

  • Understand Roles: Before diving in, it’s crucial to understand each other’s roles in the dynamics of submission. Check out our article on communication skills for effective ways to have this discussion.
  • Setting Boundaries: Submission doesn’t mean losing your voice. Make sure to set healthy boundaries, such as defining the limits of your comfort zones and how decisions will be made.
  • Active Listening: Give your partner your full attention when discussing any aspect of your relationship, particularly those involving submission. This fosters empathy and understanding.
  • Be Consistent: Consistency is key. Try to implement submission gradually in different aspects of your life together, rather than all at once.
  • Scheduled Check-Ins: Keep the lines of communication open with regular check-ins to discuss what’s working and what’s not. Adjust as necessary.
  • Safe Words or Signals: For contentious or emotionally-charged topics, have a safe word or signal to pause the conversation, allowing both of you to cool off before resuming.
  • Share the Load: Take turns in being the “submitter” and the “submitted-to” in different scenarios. It’s a two-way street, remember?
  • Consult, Don’t Command: Frame decisions as consultations rather than commands. This offers room for dissent and agreement, keeping the power dynamic balanced.

And there you have it—a toolbox of practical tips to help you embrace submission in a modern, balanced relationships. Remember, submission isn’t about losing yourself; it’s about enriching your partnership. So take these tips, blend them with your unique marital dynamic, and start experiencing the harmony and happiness you both deserve.

Speak Up: Join The Conversation

Alright, lovebirds, we’ve journeyed from the whys to the hows, busting myths and dropping truth bombs along the way. Now, it’s your turn to step into the spotlight. If you’ve got questions, we’ve got ears—big, elephant-like, virtual ears waiting to hear from you! If submission still feels like a riddle wrapped in an enigma, or if you’ve tried these tips and struck gold, spill the tea in the comments below.

Remember, your insights might just be the guiding star someone else needs to navigate their marital galaxy.

So don’t be a wallflower. Hit that comment button and let your voice be heard. Together, we can turn the often misunderstood concept of submission into a tool for more loving, balanced relationships. Let’s rewrite the narrative, one comment at a time.

How Coach Katy Can Help:

If the journey through submission in marriage feels like navigating a maze, guess what? You don’t have to go it alone. As a certified life coach trained by the world-renowned Tony Robbins, I specialize in helping couples communicate better, understand each other deeply, and balance power dynamics in their relationships. 

While today’s topic focused on submission, my course “Get that YES! – Bridge the gap between you & your partner with the beloved’s alliance” takes a broader view. It gives you the tools to understand and influence your partner’s behavior effectively, which can dovetail nicely with the principles we’ve discussed here. 

Intrigued? Send me an email ( and we can chat further, or click the link at the side of the page to schedule a one-on-one session. Your ideal relationship could be just a click away!

4 thoughts on “How to submit to your husband

  1. Dave Sweney says:

    This was a very good article that explains how to submit to your husband and digs deeper as to why this is something to consider as you may be entering into a marriage with someone who has hit all the marks you have set for a potential partner.  

    These days, too many women have no guide to lay down ground rules, or behaviors to consider, on both sides of a marriage. This results in expectations not being met (unrealistic?) by one side or the other, and too often this then ends in divorce or worse. Therefore, such an article as this is much needed in my opinion.

    Likely many women will be put off by the concept, as they do not want to submit to anything, as society has taught them that anything goes, they are free and have the right to do what they want. That all sounds good, but it is not reality or faith-based. 

    Thanks and I will be passing on the article to my two girls as they explore the moves to adulthood and all that entails for their futures.  Our family is focused on our faith and tries to follow the laws and guidance provided in the Bible. This information will help in this important area of life.

    1. CoachKaty says:

      Thank you for your thoughtful comment and perspective, especially from a faith-based angle. I’m glad you found value in the article and plan to share it with your daughters. In a world where freedom and individuality are highly emphasized, the idea of submission can be a difficult pill for some women to swallow. And that’s okay—everyone has their path and priorities.

      But for those who are genuinely interested in fostering a harmonious, committed relationship, this article can offer some useful guidelines. The intent isn’t to stifle anyone’s freedom or individuality, but rather to explore ways to make a marriage more enriching and balanced, based on mutual respect and shared values. Submission doesn’t equate to subservience; it’s about building a partnership where both individuals feel valued and loved.

      So while some may dismiss the notion of submission outright, those invested in deepening their relationships may find the insights valuable. It all depends on what you’re looking to cultivate in your relationship and life.

  2. dreamgirl93 says:

    It was very interesting reading your article, as it is a topic that I’m also into and I wanted to reach out. This article offers a thoughtful and balanced exploration of submission within marriage, emphasizing mutual respect and shared responsibilities. I appreciate the debunking of common myths and the emphasis on mutual submission, promoting a harmonious and understanding relationship. The practical tips provided are insightful, fostering communication and respect. It’s refreshing to see a modern, nuanced perspective on this topic, encouraging couples to find a balanced dynamic that enriches their partnership.

    1. CoachKaty says:

      Absolutely, and thank you for your thoughtful comment on the article. Every relationship is as unique as the people in it. What works beautifully for one couple might not resonate with another, and that’s perfectly okay. For instance, while the article emphasizes mutual submission and equality, some relationships find a harmonious balance in dynamics that may seem like the opposite.

      Take the nuanced act of submission within dominance, for example. In certain relationships, the dominant partner also experiences a form of submission—a profound respect and responsibility towards their partner’s well-being. It’s a compelling layer of complexity that challenges traditional views on submission and dominance.

      It’s this rich tapestry of differences that make each relationship a unique journey. Whether couples choose mutual submission, a dominant-submissive dynamic, or something entirely their own, the key lies in mutual understanding, trust, and respect.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *